We Launched Our Own Consent Policy In Our Escort Service Business [Update]
This is a follow up story for Society Service. If you're interested in reading how they got started, published about 4 years ago, check it out here.
Hello again! Remind us who you are and what business you started.
My name is Marike van der Velden and I am the founder and owner of Society Service. My company is the premier and most renowned high-end escort service in the Netherlands, which I already told you more about in my original Starter Story and an update about our new pricing structure in 2021.
In a nutshell; you book an escort with Society Service because you are looking for an experience that stimulates body, mind, and soul and not just for an erotic service. That said, eroticism is almost always part of a booking, but only after the escort and client have made a connection on a social, mental, and emotional level. Many are under the impression that a high class escort offers merely an erotic service, which is not at all the case - at least not with Society Service.
The type of clients we serve is very diverse; from inexperienced virgins to experienced businessmen, experimental couples, average Joe, rock stars, politicians, and many more. However different they are, what they have in common is that they are all looking for intimacy in many other ways than just sex.
Ever since I founded Society Service, 18 years ago, I have aimed to offer an experience that both the escort and the client enjoy. We call this experience “the Girlfriend Experience”. I remain convinced that with this approach a togetherness can be created that offers much more pleasure, satisfaction, and feeling of fulfillment.
What has changed in the last few years, hence my update with Starter Story, is more awareness of boundaries and transgressive behavior, which ultimately resulted in the launch of our Consent Policy.
My vision and approach appear to be successful, turnover has been growing steadily for 18 years, except a few piteous corona years.
Tell us about what you’ve been up to. Has the business been growing?
Business is going very well. Although the growth was exponential in the first 10 years, I see a smaller increase in the last 8 years. It makes sense that I will eventually reach a ceiling. Although no other high-end escort service in the Netherlands offers such an extensive portfolio of high class escorts as Society Service, this size is subject to a maximum.
With more than 50 female escorts, the range becomes so large that it becomes too difficult to find a good personal match for a client, for which we offer several matchmaking options. Because the escorts all have full-time study or jobs in addition to their activities as a high-class escort, they are usually available for about 1 or 2 bookings per week.
Although we expanded our portfolio of female escorts a few years ago to include male gigolos and even transgender escorts, the number of bookings is limited due to these factors. However, in addition to increasing the number of bookings to generate higher turnover, it is also possible to increase turnover per booking.
When I wrote the book Escort Bible in 2014, an average of €1150 was spent per booking. This is now more than €1450, while the rates at Society Service have not increased significantly. Surprisingly, those of most competitors have increased rather much in the past few years. Perhaps I should dedicate my next Starter Story to how I manage to keep my rates for clients lower, without that being at the expense of the salary of the high class escort...
Having said all this; Higher turnover has not been my ambition for years. The focus has mostly shifted to increasing job satisfaction and automation where this is possible, despite the personal nature of the services. To achieve the latter, the Society Service website was completely renovated in early 2023.
Although few differences are visible to clients, apart from a few useful additional technical features, it has been completely changed and rebuilt at the back end. This resulted in a safer, faster, and more stable website, but also provided the technical space to implement the future changes I want for the website.
One of the new visible improvements on the website is what we call the “Special Talent” match, where clients select some talents they appreciate to filter escorts by them
When increasing job satisfaction, I certainly don't just look at the joy I get from my work. The pleasure my escorts experience from the bookings is of much greater importance. The idea behind this is that the more they enjoy their bookings, the more the client ultimately enjoys them too and everyone ultimately benefits from this.
Twice a year I organize a course day where the majority of the escorts come together and we provide workshops. For this, I asked the escorts what they would like to learn more about. What is always discussed is what they encounter during their work and this ultimately resulted in the most important development of last year. I am proud of this development and would therefore like to tell you more about it.
At Society Service, I often work with escorts in their twenties. The clients are usually a bit older and so am I now. I noticed in the conversations I had with the escorts that concepts such as 'consent' and 'transgressive behavior' are much more important in the current generation of twenty-somethings than was the case 10 years ago.
The conversations also showed that in 1 in 10 bookings they experience the client's behavior as transgressive at some point. The most common complaints related to clients who showed too little interest in building a connection outside the bedroom or did not listen sufficiently to the escort's wishes and boundaries when they were together in the bedroom.
Because a large sum is paid to the escort, the question is of course; but isn't this just part of the job? Everyone has a bad day at work sometimes, right?
The answer is: no. This is not part of the job. A less pleasant working day is a booking with a client where it takes a little more effort to make a connection, where the conversation does not go as smoothly, for example, because the client can barely get the words out due to nerves.
Or when the client has interests that the escort does not share and he likes to spend entire afternoons in museums and the escort does not find this interesting. Given the generous compensation that the escort receives, it may be expected that the escort will make an extra effort. But having to get angry with a client who asks for a sexual act for the umpteenth time that the escort previously indicated that she did not want to provide is not a less pleasant day at work, this is transgressive behavior.
In the society we live in now, it is no longer 'I pay, so I decide'. Consent cannot be redeemed. You reach a consensus together. This happens naturally and without interference for about 90% of bookings. The escort and client both take each other into account and have a good time together.
But for the 10% where there is room for improvement, an action plan has been considered to reduce this percentage and hopefully one day eliminate it. I spoke to several experts in the field and in the end, a humanist offered the best help. Together with him and a number of our escorts, we drew up a Consent Policy, which was brought to the attention of clients.
Awareness is the first but also the most important step. This awareness has been further increased among the escorts with a workshop on the subject during the most recent course day and clients are addressed when an escort indicates that there was room for improvement or the escort experienced any part of the booking as unpleasant. Clients are offered the opportunity to improve when boundaries have been unintentionally explored or crossed.
Something that started as a conversation with our high-class escorts resulted in a completely new policy that received the necessary media attention. Several major Dutch newspapers wrote about this new step, which provided interesting marketing value. There is also a sudden increase in the already high number of applications for new escorts. This policy also appeals to them and therefore also has a positive influence on recruitment.
Publication in one of the largest Dutch newspapers: Algemeen Dagblad:
What have been your biggest challenges in the last year?
The 'high-class escort' market has for a long time consisted of about 5 players with whom an association was even formed during the Covid pandemic. Within this association, we respect each other's unique identity and working methods, but we join forces when we are stronger together.
This is the case in combating fakers, offering new payment solutions, and client verification, to name just a few examples. The contact is friendly and respectful without losing sight of the fact that at the same time, we are competitors.
Unfortunately, I do not see this friendly and respectful attitude among several new players who have been on the market for a few years and that is a challenge. I have my reservations about how these new players run their businesses. And the tax authorities and our government probably will too, but that is not my problem or concern. What appears to be my problem, however, is that these new competitors have figured out that the fastest way up is to tear down the current established order.
Since Society Service is the market leader, we especially suffer from this. For well over a year now, online forums where escort services are discussed have been flooded with fake reviews. Such as this one:
An example of a fake review, which was removed by the administrator:
At first, this happened so noticeably that a message to the forum administrator was often sufficient to have the negative reporting removed and to address the writer about it. So the strategy was adopted by the competitors.
Instead of “stay away, poor service, it's a scam,” the reviews now say the experience was “mediocre and disappointing,” which seems more credible than an extreme story. Although the vast majority of Society Service clients will never consult such a forum, it does cause damage.
“Franky” has been posting several fake reviews on several review boards:
First of all, there is damage in missed assignments. The new competitors in question will undoubtedly be pleased to read that bookings have been canceled or missed because of the fake reviews. It is also detrimental to my well-being; the false reporting is hurtful and insulting.
But to put a stop to this, I have engaged the services of our cybersecurity expert, lawyer, and other specialists and they charge high rates for their services. With results, by the way; there is irrefutable evidence of who is spreading the false news. The question that niggles at me, however, is what I want to do with it.
Do I want to spend my time, energy, and money on this kind of negativity? Legal proceedings will undoubtedly result in high fines and damages and therefore possibly in the bankruptcy of the competitors. But then? What have I achieved with this and what has it cost me? Couldn't I have spent my energy much better? It's a question that has been haunting my mind for a while and I still haven’t decided on the matter yet.
What have been your biggest lessons learned in the last year?
While putting together our Consent Policy, I have learned that it is okay to say 'no' if a client's wishes do not match the experience I want to offer at Society Service. And it is not a problem to only come to this conclusion after several bookings. However unfortunate it is to part ways with a client, sometimes this is to everyone's advantage.
The client is better served elsewhere, the escorts enjoy bookings with other clients more and my work is also a lot more fun if I can focus more on bookings that were a great experience for both the escort and the client, instead of handling complaints about the client.
I am also trying to learn that it is sometimes better not to fight but to accept a situation, no matter how undesirable it may be. I have a great sense of justice, both professionally and privately, and I can be extremely combative if I feel that I am not being treated fairly. False reporting by competitors is an example of this, but there are many more examples.
I have a sweet partner who lets these kinds of situations slide much more easily and who also sees the stress it can cause me. From him I learned to take a step back and leave some things as they are; a load of BS. My energy is often served better elsewhere.
What’s in the plans for the upcoming year, and the next 5 years?
Entrepreneurship is always accompanied by difficult situations and the aforementioned ‘load of BS'. It is a utopia to say that I would only like to focus on positive developments, that is simply not always the reality.
That is why I hope that in the coming year, I can handle difficult situations with less stress and that they can stimulate my creative entrepreneurial spirit so that at the end of the day I can get something positive out of this.
After being in business for 18 years, I have reached a certain maturity, both professionally and privately. This offers stability on the one hand, but also the resilience to respond to difficult situations as well as new opportunities and innovation possibilities on the other. The team I work with is essential here. With the majority of the people and companies I work with, I’ve been doing so for 10+ years.
In addition to carrying out the standard tasks, they think along with me about the development of my company and they stay informed of new opportunities and possibilities within their field, which we then try to apply at Society Service. An example of this is artificial intelligence.
The website we rebuilt in 2023 will be the last of this kind. We are already taking the first steps towards an AI-driven website. Although AI may be able to handle the first client contact, the personal touch (pun intended), such as matchmaking between escort and client and the experience offered by our high class escorts, will remain of indispensable value.
I hope in five years that I am still enjoying (the majority) of my work as much as I am now. I feel very lucky for having found a job that I both enjoy, am good at, and provides financial stability. I’m occasionally asked when I will retire but I can not imagine my life without my work. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Furthermore, a nice anniversary party is scheduled in a few years, when we’re reaching our 20th anniversary. I hope to celebrate this with both the people I work with as well as socialize with. Because however important my business contacts may be, my social connections such as friends, family, and partners remain the most important in my life.
Taking a small coffee break to check my email, even during a recent trip on a motorcycle across North-Vietnam:
What’s the best thing you read in the last year?
I’m not big on reading books and hardly ever watch television but do enjoy watching documentaries. I found the documentary on Arnold Schwarzenegger to be rather amusing and inspiring honestly.
He shows that hard work and a little bit of luck and bluff can get you a long way. What I liked most about the documentary is that he had a clear vision of where he wanted his life to go and he just went for it. He didn’t take no for an answer and his hard work paid off.
Another documentary I enjoyed was The Inventor about Elizabeth Holmes. Where a little bit of bluff helped Arnold Schwarzenegger, a lot of it was the downfall of Elizabeth Holmes. I was astonished by the big names that she attracted and how a great story and charisma got her this far. Although many documentaries about people such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Steve Jobs were interesting to watch, Dirty Money was much more of a favorite of mine. On the contrary, I found the Pornhub documentary to be disappointing.
Advice for other entrepreneurs who might be struggling to grow their business?
My first question to you would be; do you even want to grow your business? And if so, why and at what cost? If you wish to expand your business, will you target a larger local audience or the same audience but on an international scale? Is your business ready for such a change? Do you have the staff to support you with these changes? Growing a business is not always the right choice (right now).
Growing a business is also often associated with financial motives. However, growth comes in many forms and higher revenues or turnover are not at all the only way to generate growth. A question I’ve often asked myself is: How will this change contribute to the pleasure the escorts and myself derive from work?
I have often made the conscious choice not to focus on growth in terms of turnover or revenue but instead focus on how to further perfect the experiences that are provided at Society Service and increase a positive working environment for both myself as well as the escorts I work with. Time and time again, this has shown to be the right path for my business.
In short; I’ve said ‘no’ to more money but ‘yes’ to more pleasure and it worked out great!
Far from glamorous but all the more fun; my recent trip by motorcycle through North-Vietnam:
Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?
Funny enough, I’m never looking to hire anybody other than new escorts to add to my team but each year a person in an entirely different position is added to my team because of a sudden need or new business idea.
Having said that, I’m not hiring or looking. Neither do I have any availability for coaching sessions with other entrepreneurs looking to delve into the industry I’m active in. My time is reserved for my own business and my private life.
Where can we go to learn more?
- More about Society Service
- More about Marike
- The Society Service blog
- The real superstars of Society Service
If you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!
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